Thursday, August 21, 2008


As the name suggests, I mainly think of this as a knitting blog and don’t often include a lot of personal details about my life. To the casual reader, between the holiday pictures and the knitting stories, it must seem like my life is more or less carefree. Those who know me better know better.

As I wrote several months ago, in January our daughter, Jessica, chose to leave Washington State and her husband of three years and move back home to BC. Although she gave it her best, she realized that she could not be happy in a relationship in which she was not permitted to play an equal role. When it became apparent that her situation was not likely to change, she made the courageous decision to reclaim control over her own life. Since then she has scored several small victories but on Tuesday she truly had cause to celebrate.

Because she and her estranged husband had reached a stalemate in their divorce proceedings, the court ordered them to attend a settlement conference. Needless to say, she was very nervous about the prospect, especially since her husband had recently made some outrageous demands in an effort to intimidate her. And, needless to say, I was very nervous too.

Surprisingly, though, as we made our way down to Olympia, a sense of calm came over us. Instead of tossing and turning, we both slept well the night before the conference and when she woke in the morning, Jessica said she felt lucky. Even though our nerves increased as the time of the meeting drew closer, we managed to disguise our unease—you know, never let ‘em see you sweat. And once the conference began, the nerves genuinely subsided altogether. Maybe that had something to do with having truth on our side.

Without going into detail, I am happy to report that Jessica kicked ass and came out of the conference having achieved everything she wanted. Her husband, on the other hand, was firmly put into his place by the judge more than once and was denied all of his eleventh-hour requests. It certainly didn’t help that his cellphone went off during the proceedings, interrupting the judge mid-sentence (snicker). The marriage has now officially been dissolved so Jessica can put that part of her life behind her and move on.

As her mother, I am so proud of the way Jessica conducted herself throughout the whole process, always taking the high road and never stooping to his level. Sitting in that courtroom she clearly had the upper hand, for perhaps the only time during their marriage. She emerged from the courthouse radiating happiness and self confidence. Victory is sweet, very sweet indeed.

No comments: